buenas mi gente,
It's warming up (though the recent streak of 60-70 degree weather has been amazing) and the placita parties are in full swing around the corner-
With the weather poniendose bonito, for some reason I've been thinking and meaning to ask:
I've been feeling like I’ve lost something recently, but I can’t seem to pinpoint it.
Youth maybe? I kinda feel post-youth (pretty dope name for a band). Maybe son las canas, maybe the neck issues. I hear it’s fleeting.
Maybe it’s the fairly recent loss of kinship/friendship with a loved one.
Maybe both of those combined kinda bloats to a sorta loss of who you thought you were; a loss of identity.
Loss can be the state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value
When you have a certain expectation of something or someone (what youth means/ how a certain friend should be responding to your friendship) and the expectation is not realized, it can be devastating. It can make the heart sick (shout out to king solomon). You expect certain accomplishments while you're still "young"; you expect the love and attention you put into a relationship to be reciprocated; you think these expectations, when realized, kind of validate the identity you’ve made for yourself.
But really, maybe the expectation was never realistic. Maybe our definition and/or expectation was more of an assumption. Maybe youth never really has an expiration date. Maybe certain people are incapable of giving back what they get from you and we should be ok with that. Maybe things aren’t as big of a deal as your mind is making it out to be.
Maybe I should start listening to the The National a little less.
One thing I've gained recently is love for these amazing brush pens.
The brand is Kuretake, and they’re amazing. I had to ask someone who spoke japanese to write the name of pens in english for me so i could look them up after buying a single one on my trip to LA. (Here's a link to a five pack).
Below are some sketches I’ve been doing with them. Will probably be incorporating this style a little more in my work, especially in an upcoming collab with a really awesome notebook brand (more deets soon)
oh, y tambien: I recently sold (a loss and a gain) my last hand embellished chimi piece! They were 18x24 and each one was unique with hand embellished “tags” done with acrylic paint and pens.
Thinking of doing another run of these, limited to 5-10 (would be around $140 +/- depending on production price). Please let me know if you’d be interested in one!
Lastly, I’ve gained an obsession with the beths. The lyrics to "expert in a dying field" hitting hard.
When in doubt, send flowers.
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hasta la proxima!